holidays, holidays, holidays…

Posted on May 3, 2013 by cambridgemummy

Going on holiday after having children is not as much fun as you’d think it would be. So whilst this is a paid for post, for Thomson Al Fresco and their family camping holidays, I’m writing it because I’m thinking about holidays, and how we are going to handle them this year.

The boys are busting to go camping, but I don’t think our youngest, who will be 5 come the holidays themselves, will actually like it. He’s quite partial to his home comforts, just like his mother. My Glastonbury days are long gone. So now, I’m actively researching something that will give me a half and half – a camper van, with a tent, or something with tent capabilities, but all set up and ready for me when I get there. The only thing is that I get annoyed at what they cost, because I think they will be / should be a third of the price that staying in a hotel will cost. But it doesn’t. It’s actually quite similar. I’m sure that’s to allow for the cost of the wear and tear and all that, but I’ve still not brought myself to book, so I’m still dithering. Have you been camping? Is it viable with a 4 and 6 year old pair of boys.

Can I test camping in the garden first? Would that be a good idea?

Things I want to blog about but don’t have the time #425

Posted on April 26, 2013 by cambridgemummy

Dear Lord. Where do I start?

Precious First Born has started at beavers. How is he old enough to do this? And why is it on a Thursday – same day as gym club, therefore rending him still in bed at 8.20am on a Friday morning and crying with tiredness before he’s gone to school. What do we do? Leave it for another year or see if he adapts to it?

Ignored Second Child is the cutest thing I’ve ever know. Fact. He is cuter than anyone else’s children have ever been and ever will. He is totally worth my turning down the job last year that paid ooodles of money, to get these next two years with him, before he turns into Previous First Born and no longer wants kiss cuddles and to stick his hand down my top. He’s helped me set a business timeline on these actions alone. God help me if he changes earlier or later than his brother did. What will I do then?

I’m tired. Did I mention that I’m tired. That I love my bed and want to be in it, day and night. I could sleep for a thousand years and still want more sleep.

And now that I’m here I can’t remember what else I wanted to blog about but don’t have the time to. I want to document again, that the climbing frame is going to be the best thing we’ve ever bought our troops, but it’s also going to be the cause of us needing a by pass direct to Addenbrookes. Precious First Born loves swinging from it with just one arm. Ignored Second Child now goes down the slide inbetween Precious First Borns out stretched legs. There’s trouble coming, just not worked out how yet…. For now. They love it. We love it as well – they are outside and very happy. So all is good there.

Anyway, got to go. Truck loads of work to do. Deadlines everywhere and lots to get on with. Laters Baby x

Public Announcment for all Working Mothers

Posted on April 16, 2013 by cambridgemummy

Right Working Mothers. Stand Aside. For I am here. I hereby claim the crown for most amazing working mummy in the whole world. Since 3pm I have done a truck load of work whilst having a 4 year old (who is off school with D&V) literally sitting on my left shoulder and the top of the sofa – because that’s the only place he can get comfy. Jo from Life Productions will testify to that – she called me on Skype and was lucky to not have him show her his bare bum.

Speaking of bums. I have wiped a bum. Twice. And I have washed both of our hands twice. I have put cooked dinner for us all. And not burnt it. Well, kind of. I have come up with a frankly fabulous # and social campaign by phone, off the top of my head, for a friend. I have put one load of washing in the washing machine.

I tell you. I’m fabulous. And so that you have something to print out and put on your fridge, to aspire to, I’m sharing the picture of dinner with you, so you all know what you are aiming for.

This is sausage, pre prepared roast potatoes and left over oven chips, coated in a Waitrose procured sauce of sweet pickled beetroot. I know, you wish you were at our house for tea….

I know. I’m frickin’ fabulous. Feel free to tell me how much I’ve inspired you to up your game in the comments section below xx

This is so me – slow blogging

Posted on April 6, 2013 by cambridgemummy

Slow blogging ?? What is it? It’s me. I’m a slow blogger. Not quite how the Tots 100 team are writing about it – being someone who blogs mindfully, crafting each word. But I’m someone who only blogs when I’ve got something to say. If I don’t have anything to say, I don’t blog. Simples.

Fear – in pregnancy, in birth and as a parent

Posted on April 4, 2013 by cambridgemummy

I know that this is a bit of a rambling blog post, but it’s something that’s really important to me to get out there….

Things I wish I’d known about giving birth to a baby. The big one is that there’s a point where you get really scared. Properly frightened and there’s nothing anyone can do for you. For me, it was at the point where I could actually see W’s head was about to arrive, the epidural had failed and they’d taken away gas & air because I wasn’t “concentrating on the job in hand” enough.

I could see his head and was so frightened – I couldn’t work out how I was supposed to get it outside of me – let alone the rest of his body. And to be fair, I don’t know now how I did it. I hesitate to use the phrase out of body experience, but that’s what I mean. I remember thinking that there was no option but to go for it. The only shame is that I didn’t listen to the midwife and wait for the contractions. By forcing it, that’s how I did the damage I did and ended up with transfusions and an extended stay in the delivery suite itself – right next to theatre, in case I needed a visit over there at some point. Not that I’d twigged that of course – I was only told as we were discharged!

I think we need to talk more about the fact that people can get scared in labour. Women and men. Watching one born every minute last night I was really angry with the bloke who went outside for a fag, went to the coffee shop, offered to buy his girlfriend a hot dog when she was in the middle of pushing their son out. But actually, for some people that’s their only way of coping. To keep moving, to keep distracted. I’d have done my nut if my husband had missed the arrival of either of our sons! Different strokes for different folks eh?

Fear is something that never goes away: as soon as I was pregnant, I was worrying – was I eating enough / the right food? Was I keeping enough food in me long enough for it to work? Was the baby safe, even though I was being sick so often? Would it come to love noodles as much as I did and rely on them like I did whilst pregnant?

And then, miraculously I worked it out. Or should I say, that over time I’ve made progress towards working it out – it’s never going to go away. It’s never going to change – the basic feeling of fear. And that’s because I’m a conscientious parent. I want the best for our boys. I want them to be safe, to be happy, to have the best of everything that we can provide for them. And what that is, that I need to provide, changes over time. At first it was a clean bum, regular feeding and cuddles to get them through the physical changes they were undergoing. Now it’s a bit different. It’s teaching them that there are a range of ways to get what you want in the world and that sometimes, you don’t get them no matter how hard you try.

It’s about showing someone how to wipe their bum properly. How to work as part of a team. How to help other people because it’s nice to do that. How to be a good friend and brother. How to notice when someone else is sad and could do with cheering up.

There’s so much now, that again, it’s scary when I sit and think about how much there is that I want to teach my children. So much that I want them to know, experience, have and be part of. I don’t know how we can give it all to them but we’re trying our best.

Which brings me back to the start of this blog post – when you’re in labour, there’s a myriad of ways things happen that are in and outside of your plans, in and outside of your control. But so long as you are trying your best, for you and your baby, whatever stage of pregnancy, labour or parenting you’re at, no one can ask any more of you. X

The new climbing frame is built :))

Posted on April 4, 2013 by cambridgemummy

So, what do you do when it’s cold outside and you’ve just come home from school?
Beg to go on the climbing frame! You can’t see it very well here, but it’s actually really big and the boys have been on it again today – even though it was snowing. They love it.

This post is sponsored by Big Game Hunters. We’ve received a discount on a climbing frame in return for writing about our experiences of building it and getting the opinions of our boys on it…..

Baby swimming – what to do and what not to do – in my opinion.

Posted on March 7, 2013 by cambridgemummy

I’m not a swimming teacher. And in my work life, I do work with Water Babies. But this blog post is not sponsored or influenced by anyone. It’s just me, putting myself out there.

Because more importantly than my work stuff, I’m a mummy. And I’m writing this blog post because I needed to find somewhere to voice my concern and fears about the video that’s doing the rounds right now. You know, that one where the girl is sobbing, aged 13 months, trying to climb out to her daddy, who is filming for over 9 minutes of her crying and begging to not be put under the water. Or the one with the baby that’s fully dressed, floating on their back, sobbing for someone to come and rescue them.

I’m not linking to it. Because it made me cry and I don’t want to upset anyone else :(

I don’t want anyone to think that this is what’s needed to teach a baby or toddler to swim. Suffice to say, that to anyone with common sense, it’s not how you do it. Or at least, it doesn’t need to be done like that to teach babies and toddlers to swim. I’ve got first hand evidence of it because E and W are both great swimmers and they were never ever asked to go under the water when they didn’t want to. In fact, our swimming teacher taught us to ask their permission to do it with them when we did it. And it wasn’t done over and over again within one lesson – in fact, we had to stop E from swimming underwater and get him to swim on top!

I’m worried that I’m going to phrase this badly. I’m nervous about putting myself out there because I’m not qualified in this area. But what I am, is passionate about baby swimming and how good it is for babies and their parents.

The swimming lessons we’ve had with Water Babies – and yes, we did them for years before I did any work with them – were brilliant. They saw E make the transition from splashing about to being a fantastic swimmer.

And for W, whose water wobbles lasted for months, they saw him go from being reluctant to be in the water, to being happy and confident in the water. In fact, I’m ashamed to say that I would ask our teacher to force W to do stuff in the pool – not going underwater, but just to be more compliant when he was in the wobbles, because I was so desperate for him to be able to swim like E. Our teacher was so calm, caring and supportive of W and me, in different ways. She’d help me relax and stop panicking about the fact that he was reluctant to do the same things as the other toddlers.

Her praise, whenever he did anything that was remotely within the lessons plans was enough to get him and me through the lessons. And when he wanted to quite literally go in the other direction to everyone else, that was fine as well. In fact, I’m quite teary thinking about the attention, love and guiding care that was shown to us both. I suppose that’s why so many of their families come to them through word of mouth isn’t it?

And with E, who is now swimming full lengths of 25 meters – doing breaststroke, front crawl and back crawl confidently, having just turned 6, in classes with children aged 7 and 8, I’m forever grateful for how she encouraged him, stretched him and literally cheered for him and his friends who were all as advanced as him, at just 4 years old…..

I suppose what I’m trying to say, is that when looking for swimming lessons for your baby, you’re looking for someone who will care for you and your baby, encourage you to have fun, has lots of experience in teaching, has the facilities to make it as easy and stress free as possible for you, has qualifications, insurance and doesn’t mind you asking lots of questions.

I would not go to a swimming school that puts babies under the water over and over again. It’s just plain wrong. And it’s giving a bad name to all the people who I know, who are baby swimming teachers who love their job, love teaching babies and toddlers to swim and are caring, supportive and very professional in their approach to their work.

Here’s to all the brilliant, water confident, happy splish splashing swimmers out there. And their mummies, daddies and the grandparents who take them to their lessons each week and get utterly soaked because their babies think it’s funny!!!

Matilda Mae – what to say?

Posted on March 6, 2013 by cambridgemummy

My friend Cara, the Inventor of SnoozeShade, has made a star that everyone is invited to use on their Twitter, Facebook and any other profile they have tomorrow. Because it’s Matilda Mae’s funeral. I’ve wanted to write something, but I am lost for words. So instead, I’m making sure that people can see this star and download it. And will leave you with the words her brave, brave mummy has recorded for everyone to hear tomorrow. I pray that no one has to go through what the Edspire family is right now. It’s heartbreaking.

Matilda’s star can be downloaded here

Matilda May, loved by so many people, most of whom you never met x

Is it good to be someone who can be relied up to join in?

Posted on March 3, 2013 by cambridgemummy

Today, they were down on coaches at rugby. So the head coach comes over and asks me if I’ll be able to help with coaching the 4 year olds who are too young to play in a team. I said yes of course, and got stuck into it with another Dad. And part of me is pleased that I’ve been recognised in the melee of the parents on the sidelines!

Did I have a good time? Yes.
Did I do the right thing? Yes.
Do I want to do it again? Yes!

So why am I feeling worried as to what people will think of me for doing it? Are the women thinking negatively of me, judging me as I ran around getting out of breath, chivvying their children along to get in a line and telling them to not eat their snot. Are the blokes thinking that I’m rubbish at it and don’t know what I’m doing? (Which I don’t, but that’s another story…).

I don’t know. I don’t want to be an embarrassment to my kids but I want to join in and not be someone who just stands there when I can see that they are short on people to coach the very littlest of our players. Why do I care? What’s up with me?

I see these mums and dads on the sides, looking really nicely turned out and think “why don’t I look like that?”. Is it because I’m overweight? Is it my paranoia? God, I’m going around in circles – being proud of myself that I can be relied upon to get stuck and in help and embarrassed that I’m seen as the sort of woman who can be asked to get muddy and dirty and not worry about it.

As I write this I’m cringing. For god’s sake – I’m bringing up my children to know that men and women can both do whatever they like – work, not work, be at home, not be at home, fix and mend things and be coaches when needed. So why am I even worrying about this at all?

If you have a saucepan to hand, can you come and knock some sense into me, please?

Things I want to blog about but don’t have time #4356

Posted on February 28, 2013 by cambridgemummy

I want to blog about the following things but don’t have time.

1. I worry about my friends when life throws crap at them and there’s nothing I can do about it other than put a bar of Green & Blacks and be there to hold their hands in either real life or metaphorically. I’m such a bloke – I want to FIX IT for them – even when there’s no fix available.

2. I worry about myself – I want to get this work balance thing right. I’m determined to do it! I keep thinking that I’m making progress and then not, it’s naffing random.

3. How sad I am that a silly, irreverent, downright daft Facebook group I was part of, disbanded this week, because of tittle tattling. It’s made me so sad. I went there and we talked about all sorts of inappropriate things. It was fab, and I miss it very much. It was an outlet! What do I do now? Write about it on here? But my mum reads my blog !!!

4. How proud I am to have friends who tell me when I’m being paranoid, a plonker or actually, doing something really well / good / recognising my efforts when I’m doing something for #PayItForward.

5. To be pleased that I can be grumpy, get annoyed and then get happy again, all within 6 hours. That’s progress!

6. To not be able to remember what else I want to blog about!

What is there that you want to be able to blog about / write about, but don’t have time?