There’s still nothing to see here. Even though it’s half term. Even though I am caring for four boys and doing a sleepover for the first time, and tackling it single handedly. Nope, there’s nothing at all to see here.
I didn’t start out by making a rookie mistake of taking them to the cinema and giving them Haribo sweets.
I didn’t then take them to Waitrose, where they laid on the floor making a star fish shape. Nor did they skid around on their knees like they were at a wedding disco. Nor did they pick up all manner of food and try to slip it into the trolley. I was not shrieking “Who put the snails in”… And nor did the most erudite of the group say “I think you’ll find they are escargot”…. WHAT THE ????
After I’d not run the gauntlet of the checkouts with them all hitting each other in the nuts, I didn’t strap everyone in their car seat and then stand at the boot of the car, relishing them all being restrained, eating Dorrito’s, shaking with hunger and adrenalin after dancing with death with them all in tow as we traversed the car park. No, none of this happened.
And then, the piece de resistace did not happen. No, sirrrrrreeeee. I did not kick them all into the back garden and tell them they couldn’t come in until lunch was ready. I didn’t sit there chiselling Ben & Jerry’s finest into my mouth, whilst swigging Elderflower resefreshing spritzer like it was neat Pimms.
And nor did I tell *anyone* that it was tough that they didn’t like the look of the pizza for lunch, because it was what they’d chosen.
And finally, for now, I have not, I repeat not, let them run riot this afternoon cutting paper up, colouring, tracing and god only knows what.
And no, I’m not so daft as to have four dudes sat on my dirty washing pile at the washing machine watching minecraft videos on YouTube. I’d never let that happen so that I have to dance around them to get their tea cooked. Nope. None of this is happening. It’s all sunshine and roses. It’s all going swimmingly.
Now, we’ve just got dinner, PJ’s, a film and a sleepover to do. Did I mention, just a couple of times, that it’s with me flying solo as Lovely Bloke is clever enough to be working tonight? Think of me… Once more into the breach dear friends…. Here’s to more that’s not happening at The Weston’s Yurt…..
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