November 2018 – I don’t remember this – Richard playing the ukelele that day. I don’t remember much of this Christmas. But I think there is a photo of my Dad and my Brother and his now Wife on our sofa. I’ll get it and put it here in this post. The Bitch Rules is still an important part of my life. I love it. As time goes on, living my life on my own terms is of paramount importance. Not least because it sets a good example for our boys of working on being your best self and working out boundaries and sticking to them. I’m going to go and find O Come All Ye Faithful – we’re nearly in December, so that makes it ok, I think????
O Come All Ye Faithful – it’s one of my favourite carols. But it’s also something that makes me smile because it’s about having faith. And I don’t mean in a religious sense. I mean about having a faith in life, in a process, that what goes around comes around. My faith and desire to Pay It Forward was always something within me, but it’s been crystallised by a book by Elizabeth Wurtzel, called The Bitch Rules. (That’s not an affiliate link by the way…)
It’s something that I take on holiday and use as my go to place to document and note significant things in my life. I’ve had it for around 15 years now. When I left the previous applicant, I used it as a crutch, to get me through. I thought I’d never find anyone that I would want to spend my life with – I was a bit “off men” !!! So when I met Lovely Bloke nine months later, I was quite sceptical about the whole thing, because I assumed I wouldn’t be meeting anyone of significance for a long time to come, if at all.
And yet, tonight, I’m sat in our “good room”, watching Lovely Bloke learning to play the ukelele (originally meant as a gift for the boys), with my parents here laughing at his initial efforts, and our beautiful, adorable, hyper and totally hilarious sons in bed, I’m glad that I had faith. I’m glad that I held out for the life I always wanted. I’m glad I didn’t go with the easier options.
I’m not suggesting for a moment that being married is easy – far from it. It’s really hard – and I regularly want to chuck my toys out of the pram and think life would be easier if I didn’t have the life that I do.