November 2018 – awwww, this post was 27th July 2014. Why on earth did I not share it??? Their sharing together, coupled with our open door policy, is the thing that’s made me most tired for so many years. And it’s what I’m most proud of. I am so pleased that we did it despite lots of comments from people who were nothing to do with it, that we were making rods for our own backs. What a rod we made – boys who are emotionally connected to each other and us, who know where home is, who feels safe and secure and are going into the world now – four years later as empathetic beings who have compassion for others. And to think, it all started from co sleeping and then, co sharing.
I’m sat here, in the back double bedroom, thinking about how things change. The boys are about to have a huge change happen – instead of sleeping together, in the same big, king size bed, we’re going to split them up and have them sleep in their own rooms at night. At least, this is the plan.
So W will move into the room which is currently ours. And E will move into “Grandma’s room” and we will move into the the room which the boys are currently sharing.
It just feels like such a big thing. I know it’s going to sound strange to a lot of people, who don’t have their children sharing a bed every night. But W hates being without E at night. As does E – he just pretends he doesn’t like it. When they sleep together, there is always some part of their bodies touching each other – an arm, or a foot. Other times, we find them with their arms around each other. Cuddling up.
But the thing is, that getting them to that point is a huge thing that’s making more trouble than now, I feel it’s worth. I really am struggling with it. They annoy each other, hit each other, name call and just don’t settle, so now, I’m sad to report, I think it’s time for them to sleep in their own rooms.
A bit of me thinks that they will still find each other in the night. That they will look for each other. I think W will go to E a lot, and E won’t throw him out. Especially as E will be in a regular bed whilst we decide on a cabin / high bed set up for him.
I know it’s normal. I know it’s good. I know moving on and growing is all good. But it breaks me a bit, every time something happens like this. I sat in ‘Grandma’s room’ today, thinking about how happy E was when he found he could stand up in his cot and rattle it to get us out of bed. I thought about how E finally learnt to have a nap in his cot at lunch times and it was the best 45 minutes of my life – I was around 7 months with W at that point. I think about how W slept in there, and loved his feeds, and cuddles. I remember him being nearly 2 when I stopped feeding him, but we’d sit there in that chair together, chatting and singing and just snuggling in.
I remember E getting a toddler bed, when W went into the cot. I remember our worries about him falling out !! And how he could hurt himself. He didn’t think to get out of it. When he went into an adult bed and W went into the toddler bed – well, he was out before we were out of the room. He’d be straight in with E – who had to help him up into the bed!
So many memories. So much love, laughing, arguing and just, the feeling of belonging. There will still be that, just in a different way. And we’ve got the rest of the holidays to help them adjust to it as well. I just hope it will won’t take them that long to do it! x