So, today is two years since my Dad died. I’d intended to go to work this morning and then take the afternoon to go to an important meeting for the boys at school. Life had other plans.
I got very little sleep last night. Because one of our angels was unwell – and of course all he wanted was me. The other one went to school under duress. I spent the morning doing the Mum thing – tending to the whimpers and needs of the one who was in bed. And then I went to my meeting at school which went as well as it could.
After that the day ‘turned left at the traffic lights’. I was going to go for a walk with the dog and get some space but something came up. I’m not going to tell you what it was right now as it’s not my thing to share. But it was funny and in some ways farcical, despite also being very important. It got me out of myself and away from the confusing feelings of not being sure about today. I also received some beautiful, thoughtful and funny Christmas presents. Being loved and thought about is a beautiful thing.
It’s incredible to see how far my Mum has come in two years. She’s moved from one end of the country to the other. She’s making friends in Cambridge and regularly phones us to brag about her bingo winnings and the adventures she’s having her new friends. It’s so good to invite her over and have her say she can’t make it as she’s out with other people. I’m also so very proud of my brother and his family for all they’ve achieved in the last two years – we’re relieved that Dad got to meet his first granddaughter and there are real flashes of my Dad in her when she’s cheeky! And I’m of course busting with pride at where my own Tribe are at. The boys have gone to secondary school and trying all sorts of new things. Lovely Bloke has had a career change and I’ve been doing my thing as usual.
I’m sad that my Dad’s not here to help us with the house. He would have been a huge help with all the jobs that there are to do. I know that he’s with us as we go forward though and that’s a comfort. Especially given the next project we’re going to tackle!
Next up, we have our biggest project yet – we are looking to take down three walls, move the toilet and washbasin into the utility, move the utility wall, brick up a window and create an open kitchen, lounge and dining room. I’m nervous about it – I didn’t like the mess and the upheaval when we did the kitchen in the old house. This is going to be another level entirely!
So. That’s today. Two years ago I couldn’t see what the future held. Lets see what tomorrow brings.