I really didn’t expect that. The number of messages and comments and feedback and thoughts on my post on Monday have been so overwhelming for me – a number of them coming from people who I haven’t heard from in a while. If you’d like to see more of people’s contributions on this, have a look at the comments on my Facebook post – it’s set to public so you can see them all….
Anyway, it’s now Sunday morning and aside from one wobble last night, I’ve stuck to this. I’ve drunk more water than I have in the previous six months. And it’s strange, but I feel good. Well, aside from last night, when I sobbed and sobbed, and drove to the chip shop in my PJ’s. I ate a plate of chips and gravy. And then cried some more. Because it’s awful that they didn’t make me feel any better at all. I still felt empty. They didn’t meet the need. And I don’t know what need I was wanting to fill, but they didn’t meet it. It’s a huge, gaping, hole. I don’t know how to describe it. So perhaps I shan’t try? It’s just so *there*. In a complete ironic twist, I then felt spectacularly unwell and ahem, it’s suffice to say that they didn’t last very long inside me before making a sharp exit. My body literally rejected the food. So that’s another lesson learnt as part of the experience..
Things I’ve found this week:
- That I need to go to bed really early, so that I’m not awake and hungry come 10pm. Previously, I’d have had a salad cream sandwich, or crisps or chocolate bars at this point. So I need to be in bed and asleep to avoid that situation as it’s very upsetting to be awake and hungry. I know this is because my stomach is so stretched from eating so much food and not having portion control. I know what is happening. Doesn’t make it feel any easier.
- That I need to take myself out of the situations where I would previously have eaten – Tuesday after school swimming, Friday post school chocolate, grazing on food that’s part of the lunch bag / post school snack pack en route to activities / dinner time meal.
- That black, decaff, coffee is more doable than first imagined. I need to give this and other alternatives a chance.
- That it’s going to take my body several weeks to adjust to drinking this much water. It’s embarrassing that I can’t go more than 20 minutes without needing a pit stop for the loo!!! But my body will adjust, in time.
- My infection is much better so it’s not as painful as it was to walk the dog. I’ve been walking the dog in the cold and wind at night and yesterday morning, before we did the kung fu, hot chocolate / black coffee, spellings and swimming lessons marathon which constitutes a Saturday morning for Team Weston. I’m still left sweating from going up the hill and back, but I figure it’s good sweating and building my stamina.
I’m about to write another post on other changes that are happening for Team Weston right now. And how I’m channeling myself and our plans to approach them productively and with purpose for us all to benefit. I’ll link to it once I’ve got it live.
And finally, I don’t know if I’ve said it clearly enough, or often enough, but thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I really am so grateful to the people who have been with me whilst I’ve put my head in the sand over this. And the people who have come through and offered support since I posted about this. It’s a long road, and I’m taking a marathon approach to it. Slow and steady. With a bit of striding up and down the hill with the dog 😉
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