Things to say to someone whose Dad has dementia. And things to not say to them.

I need to start a list of things that you should say and things that you should not say to someone whose Dad has dementia.

Things to say:
This is pretty shit isn’t it?
What can I do to help?
Do you need a drink?

Things to not say:
I don’t know why she’s putting details of her Dad on Facebook. Not everyone wants to know about dementia and raising awareness of it. [Someone really did say that. They got told in no uncertain terms to a) unfriend me and b) keep her thoughts to herself.]

There’s so much more that I want to write about. The irony of it is, that I just can’t remember everything! I’ve taken to Instagram a few times, trying to write about my thoughts and worries. Here’s some of the posts….

 

Another night post. Another infection for my Dad that’s left him poorly, depriving his brain of oxygen. Slowly but surely, step by step, turning off everything that makes him able to have independence and personal pride. And i am sorry to make this so self absorbed but we now need to look after my Mum as she’s made herself poorly by looking after Dad, sleeping on the floor so she can know when he’s trying to get out of bed. So tired. Still want the best for my Dad but have no idea at all as to what that looks like. Feels like a huge responsibility. With no good outcome. And no right answers. Hopefully, some less pants outcomes than others. Hopefully. Wherever my Dad’s mind is taking him tonight, I hope it’s a happy place xxxx

A post shared by Liz Weston (@mummywestonuk) on Sep 26, 2017 at 3:12pm PDT

Look!!! Dad has had 7 teaspoons of carrots and half a bowl of custard. And some nuts. We are WINNING!!! Just for today. Just for this meal. But food has gone in. And we’re washing it down with a brew. Feels likes big achievement today. #dementia #frontallobe #frontallobedementia #addenbrookes #addenbrookesG4

A post shared by Liz Weston (@mummywestonuk) on Oct 7, 2017 at 4:36am PDT