I don’t get it. Money. I don’t get how quickly we can spend it or why it’s so hard to earn it.
I do understand how money can cause problems in a relationship though. With my ex, “he who must not be spoken about” or Voldemort, money was a big issue. I paid for more of our bills because I earned more than him. Or so I thought. I also paid for the deposit on the car which he somehow kept when I left him. And we had lists of who bought what – milk, bread – a take away, because it had to be divided down the middle. You’ll be pleased to hear that on discovering that he in fact, earned more than me all along, I sat on it and “resolved it” when I moved out of the house we shared.
Life couldn’t be more different with Lovely Bloke. We’re at what I feel now, to be the best place for all of us – me, him and our boys. The child benefit goes into a savings account for the two of them, and we use it for important things, like swimming lessons or new shoes if we don’t have much money in the bank that month. But mostly, it gets saved and we’re really proud of that. And we’ve got our money for the bills squirreled away in a separate savings account and everything runs on a direct debit. And the money we live on each month transfers in on the 1st of the month.
Lovely Bloke is in charge of food, petrol and everything, from that pot. And I don’t really have occasion to spend money, as I’m working full time and on the weekend, I’m with him, so he pays for things. I earn it, he spends it. We all share it together. I hated it when I was on maternity leave and we were using my maternity money to save for nursery fees. I wanted to know that I was contributing. I didn’t get that I was contributing by being the stay at home parent. I do now, that I’m the breadwinner….
What I’m trying to say is that if you can, make your money something that you make work for the two of you. So that you aren’t left in a position where you
can’t go to a night out because you’ve not got any of your “allowance” left, or your husband says there’s no money for you to go and see your friends if you want to. That’s not right. And will only lead to you getting very resentful in the long term. Trust me, I’ve been there…
How does money work in your house? Do you divide it up? How?
PS. Yes I know, this is my third blog this weekend. I don’t know where the urge is coming from, but I’m going to roll with it. Thank you for persevering with me!!
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