Dear New Friend
Thank you for asking me to be your friend. I agree, it is *very* weird to make new friendships as we get older, but it’s worth taking your time with this kind of thing, because life’s too short to hang out with people who are nothing less than fabulous, who encourage you and will make you feel good about yourself and your decisions in life. So I’m well chuffed that you asked me to be your friend!
Seriously – do I not have enough to handle when I have PMT without you punishing me for caving in and mainlining chips and gravy with diet coke this week? A headache that’s not quite enough to make me take to my bed but has pounded all day today making me a grumpy cow who now, because I’ve been dozing on the sofa, can’t get to sleep. Do me a favour and jog on will you?
Dear New Shiny Red Trainers
I love you. I have spent a lot of money on you. Please do not get black bits around the front and DO NOT, allow the denim of my jeans to turn your white bits around the bottom a weird grey blue colour. I am going to San Francisco in March and I want you to look all spanky fabulously new until I go. I think you are so fab I’m going to put a photo of you in here. See :)