Are you pregnant? The eternal question…

“Are you pregnant?” and “When are you due?” are questions that in my opinion, should be used only when you literally can see a baby arriving either through a woman’s sunroof or through her nunny.

You do not ask it at the school gate. Because everyone else will be listening to hear someone reply to you and say “No. I’m just fat. But thanks for noticing…”

You do not ask it at the swimming pool, to someone who is in the middle of threatening to tell Father Christmas that we’ve moved house so he won’t be able to bring us toys. Like really? Even if I was pregnant, do you think that’s the time to ask it and make me feel even more out of control???

This is  a brief post, but that’s because these are the two that I can remember from the past couple of weeks alone. Seriously. Take the lead from Midwives. Do not ask a woman anything even remotely around the topic of pregnancy and/or when she might be due unless a) you are present as she is giving birth to a baby or b) she says something to you to indicate that’s she’s pregnant like “I can’t wait for the baby to arrive…”

So have we all got it? Do not ask a woman “Are you pregnant” or actually, do not ask me “Are you pregnant” because I’m liable to come up with a response that will embarrass you more than me.  In public. I’ve had it so many times now, that I’m getting quite good at it.

Here endeth the lesson / rant. For today.

PS. If I were Caitlin Moran I’d have written this so much better, I know…
PPS. How short is this blog post, can I have a house point for brevity please?
PPPS. What retorts do you have, for this question, that you can share with me? Please?

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