I’ve been on annual leave for the last two days. I think that it’s a misnomer though, for anyone to think that I’ve been sat down relaxing. By 11am on Tuesday I had:
- sourced football kit, snacks and boots for both boys for football camp
- driven boys to football camp
- dragged dog into car to take her for a walk
- walked dog
- organised my parents into the car as well, so they could see the boys at football camp
- collected parcels from the post office
- dropped off post to post office
- dropped Christmas gifts to three different people
- put dishwasher on
- taken clothes from dryer to fold
- taken clothes from washing machine to dryer and set it running
- taken clothes from dirty washing pile, sorted into tumble dryer / non dryer and set off washing machine after re filling
- brought smelly clothes from upstairs to downstairs
- ordered a bed for William to sleep on whilst my mum and dad visit
- sorted ham in coca cola for dinner
- processed work emails including an NDA for a new client project
And that’s just the things that I can remember doing. The thing is, with all this work, it’s not just the actual work – it’s the emotional labour that goes into making it all happen, putting everything in the right place at the right time, thinking ahead, planning for variables and variations. Working out how I’m going to make it all happen is emotional labour. I’ve spent several nights now, wrapping presents and working really hard on doing a good job of them as it’s not my ‘forte’!!! I don’t know. Lovely Bloke feels we’ve not bought enough for the boys, because he’s not done any of the buying this year. It’s made me feel inadequate, to have my thoughts and outlook second guessed by him – which isn’t his intention. He’s just panicked because he doesn’t know what’s happening. I even came up with a gift for him for someone at work on incredibly short notice, because he’d not thought ahead to get something. I’m tired. We’re all tired. I know. But I really do feel like I’m carrying most of the emotional labour right now, and it’s not fun. A writer on the pool, has come up with a definition.
“Emotional labour means the time and energy spent on things considered by society to have no real value but which are in fact essential toward functional relationships and a functional society. Traditionally, a burden placed on or taken by women.”
I think it’s spot on. What do you think to it? How does emotional labour get divided in your house?
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