Good grief, how many different things does that apply to? SO MANY. ALL OF THEM.
I am struggling to keep up right now. I take a bit comfort from the fact that everyone else seems to be as well.
Right now, I have several weeks worth of socks, pants and clothes to put away. I have a lot of admin and house jobs that need processing.
But I just can’t face it. Several nights of broken and very little sleep has left me feeling drained and frankly, not full of festive cheer.
It’s hard to articulate the who, where, how and why of it, but I just ain’t feeling it. However, the one thing I am feeling, all the blooming time, is cold.
I’m cold. Sooooo cold. I’m cold because I’m losing weight. Bit by bit. And despite two weeks of staying the same weight, I’ve been walking and I feel relatively good about where I’m at. The upcoming break presents several options to me:
1. I take my part in eating my fair share of sweets and treats and continue with my dog walking and being active.
2. I eat everything in sight.
3. I continue to eat well and work on this as part of the marathon challenge that this is.
I don’t know. I’m tired and confused. I know this won’t make sense, but I think I will press publish anyway, because I hope that I’m going to look back on this in the longer term and recognise this as a low point. That the loneliness, the coldness, the hunger and confusion and feeling like shizzle, was the price to pay for eating my way through the last few years. The price to pay for extra potatoes with Sunday lunch. I need to know that I’ll be able to recognise this as being a low point, to believe that my body will feel better soon. That this is going to be worth it. Because right now it really hurts, inside and out.
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