As I read this it’s November 2018 – I can see why I didn’t initially publish this in January 2016. But it’s so true. If you keep receiving things that you don’t want, you need to let people know. It’s awful to think that someone has spent their money on something that you don’t want – and that it will continue because you can’t work out how to say no thank you to something. So even though I’m not in this place any more as I don’t contract or freelance for clients on a regular basis, I think it’s important that I press publish, so I can remember that I have taken steps in the right direction…
I was driving to a client the other day and I saw this sunrise. It got me thinking about how every new day is a day free of mistakes and I wanted to work out how I could not make those mistakes that keep on coming up. So here’s my starting point in clearing up some previous mistakes I’ve made and hopefully, avoiding them coming my way again in the future….
I’m a helpful person – in my home life and in my work life. And I’m happy with being a helpful person. I’m also really happy to be able to be helpful and of use to others. When I do something that goes over and above someone’s expectations, they often want to say thank you to me. And that’s lovely – it really is. But I also need you to know something – I don’t want you to thank me for my help with a bar of chocolate, or a bottle of wine or smellies.
Why? Well, for several reasons.
1. Because I don’t each much chocolate these days – I’m losing weight, not gaining it.
2. Because I don’t drink much – I can’t cope with a hangover. I have migraine and this can trigger it.
3. Because with the weight loss, my skin is all over the place so smellies actually bring my already unhappy skin out in all sorts of rashes.
I feel bad when I’m sent things that I won’t use. I am uncomfortable recycling it all. So please, if you’re ever wanting to thank me for something, or buy me a gift, please send me a John Lewis voucher. I love to buy things from John Lewis and the John Lewis vouchers work in Waitrose which is where we buy our food – it’s the closest supermarket to us and they are super helpful when doing substitutions on your order. I’m also in the middle of a mega budgeting, batch cooking phase because we are saving up for a new car – not a new one per se, but a new to our family one, so this would be great for helping me with that project.
Now, I know that many, many people will read this and think it strange, annoying and perhaps even offensive that I’m putting this out there like I am. But I want to be really clear, transparent and authentic about it because I’ve felt really, really bad about avoiding answering the question when someone asks me about what I thought to some chocolate, wine or smellies. Sometimes, I have had to lie and tell them that I loved the gift or something like that. And I haven’t even used them at all. In fact, I’ve re gifted them, or donated to the school tombola.
I don’t want to do that. I want to be able to say that I saved all the vouchers I was given and put them together to buy a cushion which I love and worship and feel really happy using.
Much of this has come from my learning and interpretation from the Lucky Bitch programme by Denise Duffield Thomas.* It’s just my take on being honest about where I’m at. Maybe I’ll take this down later. I don’t know. I just know that I wanted to be honest. And to apologise and say how very sorry I am to anyone who has bought me chocolate, wine or smellies in the last couple of years, because chances are I’ve not experienced the lovely things you’ve brought me. But rest assured I’ve put them to good use elsewhere.
Over and out x
*Yes, these are affiliate links. Everything I link to DDT wise is affiliate. I’ve recommended so many people join the community, that it felt silly to not take up the affiliate opportunity!*
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