I wish I was not writing this. I wish that my bum didn’t hurt like it does. I wish, I wish, I wish.
I am incredibly happy to have my own office in the garden, where I work from home. From where I am writing this post right now. I am so pleased with it – heat, light, water and electrity – it’s a bit more than being ‘a shed’ !! But I still refer to it as my ShedQuarters. Anyway, I went into the house on Monday, to go to the loo, get some food and say hello to the dog. I was coming out of the patio doors and somehow, tripped myself up on the patio door and my own foot.
It wasn’t my finest moment. In fact, it was a rather strange few seconds. As it was happening, I thought:
*&^% it, I’ve pulled the handle off the patio door.
And then as I was lurching at speed towards the ladders one metre away (no idea why they are there) I thought:
*&^% it, I’m going to land on them
As I lunged out of the way of the ladders I thought:
Well done you top bird, you didn’t hit the ladders
And then, as I hit the decking, at some speed I thought a number of things:
*&^% it, I’ve landed on my packet of skips and crushed them
I also thought:
&^%$ – I’m going to break my neck and die and I’m not wearing a bra underneath this hooded top
And finally, I thought:
*&^% it, I’m going to get no sympathy at all from the boys – they’ll just be sad they weren’t there to video it so they could send it to you’ve been framed, get £250 for it and put it towards their play Station 4 fund.
I wish I could do the “this has not happened to me” post. But it all has. And guess what else? I was totally ON THE MONEY with what the boys said and did – except for the fact that they giggled at my experience first.
I’m now rather apprehensive about leaving the office and going into the house. Will someone come and hold my hand whilst I do it?