The Cambridge Mummy on: feeling a bit lonely

When I very first met Lovely Bloke, the very first time I came to his house, he was at work. Sounds strange I know, but I’d left work early and he was coming home late, so I was to collect the key from his mum who worked a few doors down from his house. I braved the quick “hello, can I collect keys for your son’s house even though I’m a stranger” conversation and came to the exact spot I’m sat at now. The decking at the back of the house. I sat there, thinking I’d found peace at last – in my new boyfriend’s house of all places. It was strange, but I didn’t feel at all lonely or uncomfortable. It felt great, sitting there waiting for him to come home….

In some ways, despite many years having passed, some things haven’t changed. We haven’t gotten around to replacing the decking. We still can’t make plants live in pots on a side wall, no matter what we buy. And now I’ve gone and lost the patio door keys, so we can’t even open those any more. But lots of other things have stayed the same. Lovely Bloke still prefers to sit indoors and watch TV, whilst I crave the fresh air and sit outside on the decking. Lovely Bloke doesn’t want to sit outside here and have a drink with me, because it’s not his kind of thing, whereas it’s very much mine. Some changes are good, some are not so good.

The fundamental change is that I’m now a wife a mother. In some ways, I find myself feeling quite lonely sometimes. Lovely Bloke and our two boys have a very unholy alliance. It’s brilliant for the boys – all three of them ;) Not least because they have such an amazing time together. But for me, when we went on holiday to Cornwall a couple of weeks ago, I just didn’t know how to fit in. And that’s a change for me – I didn’t know where to start with Lovely Bloke or my children. That upset me. I couldn’t wait to get back to my work and in fact buried myself in it whilst we were away. My mobile is my friend. It doesn’t make me feel like I don’t fit in, or know where to join in the conversation. I’m not saying I couldn’t and didn’t join in at all, it’s just that I was conscious of not always knowing what, where or how to take the lead, the initiative or where we should go next. Being self employed is great because it gives me so many benefits. I just don’t think I’m seeing enough of them right now. And feeling a bit lonely isn’t on my list of benefits so I think it’s something I need to tackle.

What do you think?

Cambridge Mummy: I’ve worked it out.

Genuinely, I have worked something out today. I think it was talking with Sarah Brown about life and how it’s not perfect and you just have to make the most of it. I don’t need to worry about who I am or am not similar to, who I do or don’t fit in with. I’m me. And I’m just fine as I am. That’s a big thing you know. People who I am in awe of, I’ve met today and you know what? They are really normal!! The “names” who dominate twitter – where are they? I don’t know, but they aren’t near me – and I’m loving it. I’m finding it really lovely. I really am. People are so warm, welcoming and interesting. I’m asking them about their life, their babies, what they are enjoying and what’s annoying them.

I’m so happy to be spending the day with other people who are living their life online. People are complimenting me on my Hobbs necklace, which is a chunky green pear on a necklace. I love that they are loving it – because I have been given my whole outfit for today – from Hobbs. Right now, I’m sat in a blogging basics – I wanted to check if I was missing anything out ;)

Right now, I’m feeling very grateful for my life and even my body – I’m me, and I’m not perfect, but I’m just fine as I am. And I think that’s something pretty bloody brilliant. Now all I have to do, is work out how to hold on to this feeling!!

Check out #CyberMummy11 on google, twitter, or Facebook and see where I’m at and what’s inspired me so much today…..

 

The Cambridge Mummy Blog: #Cybermummy11 Friday night meet up…

Right, I’ve just found out that a meet up that I thought was a free for all, is a sit down and eat, which sounds lovely, but is apparently now fully booked.

So, who wants to meet up on the Friday night – we’ll do a meet and greet somewhere from 7pm onwards, somewhere in London. I don’t mind where, what, or how, but something that isn’t pay in advance for anyone and I think, does food and drinks so that if you want to get food you can and if not, you don’t need to.

Does that sound like a plan? If you are interested please leave a comment so I can gauge venue sizes etc. That way we can work out what’s best for us all.

And if you have an idea for somewhere that’s reasonably priced but not in a place you’d be scared to walk to, please leave that in your comment too!

Looking forward to meeting everyone very soon! :) Liz W aka @cambridgemummy

The Cambridge Mummy blog: Baby names…..

It's not easy to choose baby names

Image courtesy of http://humanfertility.net/picking-baby-names/

Am not sure why, but how you choose your baby’s name is on my mind this afternoon…

With our first baby, we didn’t know if it was a girl or a boy, so we had boy names and girl names on a shortlist. When a son arrived, we were so grateful that it had all worked out in the end (there’d been a rush towards the end of the process and an emergency c section…) that the name didn’t feel like such a big issue. Nonetheless, we had to pick between Elliott and Max. We went with the former as the relatives were bounding down the corridor desperate to meet him.

With our second child, we knew we were having a boy, but there was still the shortlisting to do. But the problem was that we didn’t have hours of sitting around debating names. And Lovely Bloke felt that we couldn’t use any of the names from our other shortlist because that would be wrong, it was not giving our second child his own name, but more one that was a left over from the first time around. So we were debating William or Oliver. And in the end, after he arrived, I wanted Oliver and Lovely Bloke wanted William, so that’s what he was called, as I’d had two blood transfusions (I’m not great at the whole giving birth thing) and felt too weak to argue that much…

The things that drove our choices were:

1. We wanted something that other people weren’t picking. [That worked for E but not for W, bless him]
2. We wanted a name that wasn’t a family name, we wanted our boys to be their own people, without the burden of someone else’s history. [That worked for E, but not W, bless him. Although I only found out after we'd told everyone his name, when my mother in law helpfully announced it....]
3. We wanted a family name for a middle name. [Thankfully, we managed that one on both occasions...]
4. We didn’t want something that would sound too kooky. [I think we just about managed that as well. Time will tell I suppose]

What confuses me, is how parents pick baby names that they say up front, are after a pop star, famous person, or someone in the public eye? Aren’t most people in the public eye there for a fleeting moment of time, so why pick that name? And usually, it’s not their really name, it’s something designed to get attention, a stage name, instead of their real name.

What also confuses me , is how parents to be choose a baby’s name before they arrive. Lots of people do it, but to me, it seemed alien because I wanted to see my babies to check if the name would “fit” them…

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. How did you choose your baby’s name?

The Cambridge Mummy Blog: Cybermummy Meet and Greet Linky

Hello… Inspired by Carly over at Mummy’s Shoes, I’ve joined the meet and greet linky so people can find out more about me and vice versa before Cybermummy at the end of the month. So here’s a bit about me. Please read my About Me, as that tells you lots more about me as well :)

Name: Liz Weston
BlogCambridge Mummy
Twitter ID@cambridgemummy
Height: 5ft 5 (when without heels) (same as @MummysShoes)
Hair: Short, Brown (see my About Me info for an explanation…)
Eyes: Brown.
Likes: Honestly – my favourite food is chips and gravy. Hmmm. Every time. I am partial to chocolate but not as much as I used to be, My lovely boys (Lovely Bloke, 30 something ish, E who is 4 and W who is 3 this month), Orla Kiely (the older, less widely seen stuff), helping people (like Alice with her bucket list) and learning new stuff about social media.
Dislikes:  Big Brother, cliquey bloggers, my tummy (messed up by an emergency c section that went a bit wrong), not having enough hours in the day, smelly feet, the boys getting nits at pre school.
Photo… Arrgggh, I can’t find a photo of me with my short hair, so instead here’s a link to me on YouTube, doing an interview for The Baby Show last month. At least I’ve got make up on in this one!!!
CyberMummy sponsor: The Baby Show :)  I tweet, facebook, blog and host their radio show, Baby Talk as they are one of my lovely clients. I’ll be there on a mission to find cool mums to do reviews, guest blogs and features for them, so let me know if you are interested in anything like that :)