The Cambridge Mummy blog on: independence and a changing landscape…

Independence and the end of an eraLots of Mummy Bloggers are writing about the fact that it’s the end of an era at the moment. Toddlers finishing pre school or children moving out of reception and infant classes. None of us are unique in this, but it’s a unique experience for us all. And of course, we’ve come to the end of an era for our own boys.

E goes to Primary School or Big Boy School in September and W will remain in the pre school for another 12 months. For us, it’s a big deal because it’s the last time that they will ever be in the same class together. I have seen so many blogs about women getting emotional over these changes and thought “durrr….” but it is, and was a big deal, so I apologise for those un supportive thoughts on my part!!!

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It’s also a big deal, and the end of an era because it’s signalling to me that our boys are growing and that we need to encourage, facilitate and develop a level of independence of them from us and to an extent, us from them.

I’d been struggling with working out where I’m at with Lovely Bloke and our topics of conversation recently, as they were all about our children. But thankfully, we turned a corner on that, and we’re starting to complain about the state of the economy to each other more now, like we used to. It’s been nearly 5 years since we started parenting, so it’s nice for us to find a 10 minute window to sit and watch top gear re runs together – commenting on how much Jeremy Clarkson has aged….

For W, he’s going to learn to find his feet in pre school, E is going to learn to find his feet in primary school and Lovely Bloke and I are going to learn to find our way back to being a couple, as well as being parents. Lovely Bloke is also going to take up clay pigeon shooting and I’m going to take time to go for a swim and sit in the sauna. So change is definitely afoot in our house.

And speaking of change, some other women I know are making changes:

Chelle McCann has started a personal blog, which you can find here. It’s a good un and she writes about things I’m thinking about, more eloquently than I ever would…

Liz Fraser is doing some more radio work for BBC Cambridge in the afternoons, from 1-3pm and I recommend you give her a go, by listening online. She’s funny and has insights into being a parent, as a mum of three herself…

And finally, I’m toying with changing my twitter life – I’m thinking of using @cambridgemummy for my personal stuff and @westoncomms for more work orientated info. Don’t know if that’s my best idea, as I’m about to take on some more online platforms through another project, but it’s something I’m thinking about, so if you see me testing things out, that’s why I’m doing it…

What change is happening in your house, life and world? Would be nice to know that change is part of life for everyone.

Liz Weston is Cambridge Mummy, a self employed, full time working, mummy blogger and mummy to two lovely boys and wife to Lovely Bloke. They live in Cambridge (I know, but it’s good to be clear) and have a lovely life together. Most of the time.


 

The Cambridge Mummy blog on: not wanting to forget W playing

Cambridge Mummy Blog with W playing at telling cars what to do

"No Mack, you need to come this way"

I don’t want to forget W playing with his Lightning McQueen, Mack, Mater and Peso Penguin. He’s providing a voice for each of them, who are arguing about which way the hotel is, and Lightning McQueen has abducted Peso Penguin to drag him off. Peso Penguin keeps falling off Lightning McQueen so William shrieks “oh no Peso” at the top of his voice, *every time* and it’s only 7am. Mater and Mack are also having a domestic about which way the hotel is, so Mater is using his tow cable to drag Mack off in what he think is the right direction. And of course William is doing the “vocals” for that, loudly, as well, at 7am.As I finish this, Ratatouille has now stolen Mack and is being beaten up for it.

All before breakfast….

The Cambridge Mummy Blog on: succumbing to branding for my boys…

When I was pregnant with E, I gave a withering look to anyone who said that it was impossible to avoid branded clothes, toys and accessories. Why? Because my babies would be playing with wooden, educational, hand made, purposeful toys. They wouldn’t be bribed into getting dressed on difficult mornings with Buzz Lightyear underpants. No, that’s not my family…

 

Liz Weston the Cambridge Mummy with her toddler boys and Buzz Lightyear at Disneyland Paris

I actually kissed him, just like our boys did :)

Anyway, back to reality. Team Weston is now officially a Disney family. We’re wearing it, eating with it, watching it, playing with it and will shortly be using it to launch toilet training for W with a Lightning McQueen potty. And we’ve now had our family holiday with Disney. And it wasn’t cheap. Three nights in a three star hotel for £1,574. I don’t think Lovely Bloke and I have ever spent that much on a three night break hotels, so it was a big spend for us – and all down to Lovely Bloke, who insisted it was a good idea. I’ll write properly about it in future blogs.

I’m just going to put it out there. The experience our boys have had this week has been the most animated, excited, engaged, enthusiastic and basically the happiest I can see them looking for, well, I don’t know since when. And whether that’s a good thing or not, I don’t know. I just know that we’re all playing with Mr Potato head, in the nude, with Cars on in the background and we’re all happy.

Are you a wooden toys or Buzz Lightyear underpants family?

 

The Cambridge Mummy blog on: Money

Money and relationships are a cause of ishoos, as experienced by Cambridge Mummy and reported now, over at the Cambridge Mummy blog

Image courtesy of http://schoolloans.org/blog/

I don’t get it. Money. I don’t get how quickly we can spend it or why it’s so hard to earn it.

I do understand how money can cause problems in a relationship though. With my ex, “he who must not be spoken about” or Voldemort, money was a big issue. I paid for more of our bills because I earned more than him. Or so I thought. I also paid for the deposit on the car which he somehow kept when I left him. And we had lists of who bought what – milk, bread – a take away, because it had to be divided down the middle. You’ll be pleased to hear that on discovering that he in fact, earned more than me all along, I sat on it and “resolved it” when I moved out of the house we shared.

Life couldn’t be more different with Lovely Bloke. We’re at what I feel now, to be the best place for all of us – me, him and our boys. The child benefit goes into a savings account for the two of them, and we use it for important things, like swimming lessons or new shoes if we don’t have much money in the bank that month. But mostly, it gets saved and we’re really proud of that. And we’ve got our money for the bills squirreled away in a separate savings account and everything runs on a direct debit. And the money we live on each month transfers in on the 1st of the month.

Lovely Bloke is in charge of food, petrol and everything, from that pot. And I don’t really have occasion to spend money, as I’m working full time and on the weekend, I’m with him, so he pays for things. I earn it, he spends it. We all share it together. I hated it when I was on maternity leave and we were using my maternity money to save for nursery fees. I wanted to know that I was contributing. I didn’t get that I was contributing by being the stay at home parent. I do now, that I’m the breadwinner….

What I’m trying to say is that if you can, make your money something that you make work for the two of you. So that you aren’t left in a position where you
can’t go to a night out because you’ve not got any of your “allowance” left, or your husband says there’s no money for you to go and see your friends if you want to. That’s not right. And will only lead to you getting very resentful in the long term. Trust me, I’ve been there…

How does money work in your house? Do you divide it up? How?

PS. Yes I know, this is my third blog this weekend. I don’t know where the urge is coming from, but I’m going to roll with it. Thank you for persevering with me!!

Cambridge Mummy doesn’t want to forget: W’s reaction to “cars”

Another thing I don’t want to forget, is my quiet mornings on the sofa with W. He’s turned 3 a week ago, and he still greets the Cars DVD like a long lost friends, even though we watch it every day. We do. We watch it at some point in the day, every day. Not neccessarily all the way through. But it’s his friend, his peers, his long long mates. I love how W grabs my face and turns it to the TV, because I can’t miss Mack or Mater doing something. And how we have to get excited at the start when Lightning McQueen revs his way through the intro. We have to make the revving noise together, or I get into trouble.

What’s even nicer, is that I saw this with Lovely Bloke on our honeymoon, in Cromer, in the little independent cinema. I was 21 weeks pregnant with E, W’s older brother, and E loved it as much as W does now. It’s part of the family. I know that sounds daft. And this post is not sponsored in any way and I don’t have a relationship with Disney, but thank you for creating Cars. Our family bonds over it. We share learning of emotions and play and do all sorts of learning about colours, shapes, giggling and sharing together through it.

And whilst I’ve been writing this blog post, W has grabbed my face to turn it towards Mack twice, because he’s been “missing Lightning McQueen so much” and he’s “been sad”. I hope I never forget the intensity with which W loves Cars.

Cambridge Mummy on: Why I blog…

I know that I don’t blog enough, but when I do, I blog because I just want to put something out there. I’m conscious that I don’t always seem happy when I’m blogging and that’s because when I’m struggling to work something out, I find it useful to write it down and ask others for input. What I forget though, is that people who know me in real life read my blog as well as in my online life. And I was so touched today by someone asking me if I was ok – that they’d read my blog and thought to email me to check I was ok. They hadn’t gotten around to it but that’s ok, it’s the thought that matters to me, because life really can get away with you sometimes. And later on, at the village fete, I saw someone else who said that they had read my blog earlier this week and that they were nodding away, agreeing with it entirely, thinking how good it was for someone to be writing about life as they were experiencing it.

I hadn’t expected my friends from real life to comment on it or really notice it, so now I feel a bit embarassed for putting my thoughts out there in some ways, as I don’t want to feel like it’s in an attention seeking fashion, you know? I was just putting my thoughts down on my blog. I’ll tell you something else that I am glad for and it’s that my father in law, who we went to the fete with, wasn’t there at the time, as he so would not “get it” and would have been questioning me writing it out there in the public domain.

And that last bit illustrates the point of this blog perfectly. I don’t blog for other people. I don’t have any expectations of people reading this, that they will comment or contact me. I blog for me, for my amusement, reflection and to get my head straight. I don’t blog as funnily as NorthernMum who is something of a genius. I don’t blog on crafty stuff like the very talented Kerry does and I don’t blog in as eloquent a style as Porridge Brain or MichelleTwinMum. But what I do do with my blog, is write as me. This is me not being work orientated, demonstrating that I’m all singing, all dancing as a self-employed working mummy. This is me being me. Sometimes I’m happy, sometimes I’m contemplative and sometimes I’m excited if I’ve been given something to review.

There’s lots of post CyberMummy “what’s my purpose” blogs going on at the moment. CyberMummy had lots of great stuff, but it also had lots of cliques and it made me realise that I’m quite happy with my online and offline friends. I’m grateful for that.

Anyway, enough waffling. I blog to put myself out there. I read other people’s blogs to see what they are up to, thinking about and getting on with. I think that’s plenty to be going on with, don’t you? :)