Before Lovely Bloke, I was with someone for many years. It was a bad relationship and we really were not well matched as a couple but what I did have, was the equivalent of a sister in law, even though I wasn’t married to “the previous applicant” and nor was she to his brother. I loved her very much, and we both got into trouble a couple of times from saying the wrong thing, albeit unintentionally. But we’d work it out and she was a really important friend.
Watching Glastonbury tonight, with U2 has made me realise how much I miss her – hanging out, going to Glastonbury together and having the best time ever, despite the fact that the previous applicant was sick all over me and stole a sleeping bag from me in the middle of the night. Because I liked hanging out with her, she was like the big sister I’ve never had. I’m all teary now – I do miss her and I’m very sad that when the relationship with the Previous Applicant ended that relationship had to end as well. The fact that it wasn’t through my choice and apparently not through hers either, made me even more sad…
Life moves on, she’s got three children with the Previous Applicant’s brother and I’ve got my life with Lovely Bloke and our Lovely Boys. I have no idea what is happening for the Previous Applicant but I wish him well, wherever he is… And you know what, I wouldn’t change my life and what’s happened for the world. But just in case you find this blog post my lovely, somewhere, somehow, I’ve still got my Denby teapot. And I treasure it because we did have some great times together, despite me and the Previous Applicant being so badly matched together. The good thing that came out of that whole thing was me and you, and I won’t forget our driving up north together, hair tangled everywhere, me needing the loo and you telling me I’d got to “hold on” a bit longer!
Lots of love, Liz x
Postscript: Despite the lovely note from my old Brother in Law as a comment on this blog and a Facebook email from my old Sister in Law, a week after posting this post I received an email from the Previous Applicant. He is unhappy with my referring to him and my past. He’s concerned that I have unfairly misrepresented him. So to be clear, both he and I said and did things that I’m sure we both regret. His email revealed a very different recollection of our lives together to mine. And that’s just life isn’t it? People view things differently. He’s not a bad person and nor am I. We just didn’t work together. We were both to blame in different ways. I don’t think I’m a saint. I don’t think I am perfect. Unfortunately, as he isn’t in the online world he has the view that I’m basically broadcasting online without cause. Because he lives in an offline world, I appreciate his perspective. I of course view it differently because I live and work in an online world.
Even though Lovely Bloke doesn’t do online stuff and doesn’t really like it, he leaves me to get on with it. I’m sensitive to Lovely Bloke’s perspective in my writing, in radio and tv interviews and when referring to him and Our Boys in my public life.
The difference between now and ten years go, is that neither him or anyone else for that matter, is in charge of my life. No one dictates what I can and can’t do, what I can and can’t say, what I can and can’t write on my blog. That’s not to say that I’m not sensitive to the feelings of people who I care about, like Lovely Bloke, lets be clear on that. The years before I met Lovely Bloke shaped me – they’ve helped me become the person I am now. And that’s not just my experience with the Previous Applicant, it’s everything that I went on to do, explore and try before I met Lovely Bloke. From trampoling to trying interesting risottos, it was all good. And thank you too, to the friends and lovely people I met and had some brilliant times with :)
Today, I’m in charge of my life, I’m sharing it with someone who I think is the bees knees. It’s brilliant to be on the same team as him. Our togetherness is enabling us both to raise our boys to be strong, independent individuals who look after themselves, help others and play nicely, most of the time. They don’t eat all their vegetables, but Rome wasn’t built in a day was it?
Thank you to everyone who reads my blog. Thank you to everyone who comments on it. And thank you to the Previous Applicant, for his email – for helping me remember all of this on what would have been a regular Saturday afternoon. I hope that wherever he is with he’s happy and healthy, I really do, because life is too short to have ill feelings towards people. I’d like to think that he’s gone on to have a life as filled with happiness, adventure and love as I have. I’m sorry that he doesn’t like my having written this blog post. It wasn’t intended for that. I don’t want to cause any bad feeling and I’m sorry that it has. I hope this post script, being explicit about the fact that I know it wasn’t all his fault and that I was also to blame as well, goes some way to making him feel that this post is a bit more balanced.
Anyway, I’m off to get in the bath with my boys and prepare for our photo shoot with our fabulous friends tomorrow morning. Hope you all have a peaceful evening. Me x
Liz Weston is Cambridge Mummy, a self employed, full time working, mummy blogger and mummy to two lovely boys and wife to Lovely Bloke. They live in Cambridge (I know, but it’s good to be clear) and have a lovely life together. Most of the time.